worst states for gardening

All of this, plus some of the highest AIDS and homicide rates in the country? We won't stop you. Like LeBron James. (If you want your daughter to play football and be good at it, move to Northampton, weirdo.) "—with "No, it's Iowa." It's verdant and lush and full of magnolias. The Bad: It's not the pollution. No, no, Maryland, you're too generous! But wouldn't you rather just watch CSI: Anywhere Else? Aside from the political stuff, Alabama is rural and empty and miserable in the summer and full of tornadoes. It's peasant food! That's just the Republicans: The Dems accidentally nominated a seemingly brain-damaged sex-pervert for Senate. And toothless. With its low population density, good schools, and 'Live Free or Die" spirit, The Granite State (like Minnesota) is often mentioned as one of the "Best Places to Live in America." And the throbbing seat of their power rests in Utah, so that's a knock to you, Utah. And on top of all that, they don't even really want to be a state. Grass pollen follows later in spring into summer. Virginia's making history... up! Caution: Contains Detroit. (Or, you know, supposedly it is, I didn't see any when I was there, or maybe I did and just didn't know I was seeing them.) It's a small state with no important cities and no major cultural export beyond embarrassing mooks. It's merely a schizophrenic jumble of 50 warring personalities all…, Mississippi (via rob_stone/Flickr), New Jersey (via cyanocorax/Flickr), Utah (via jigpu/Flickr), Alabama (via auvet/Flickr), Arizona (via arizonadot/Flickr). The Bad: Good grief. Alabama, which gave the world George Wallace, racially-polarized schoolhouse doors, and several hit songs containing the word "Alabama," has a thriving air and space industry. Wisconsin loves beer! Not to suggest that the Keystone State is "modern": With the collapse of Big Steel, PA's principle exports are puke, Taser videos, and Arlen Specter. Arizona is a hissing snakepit of angry old white people (they are angry because they are literally being cooked to death) yelling at the immigrants and other Others whom they fear and loathe, and it is probably going to explode someday soon into a bright ball of orange fire and we will know that either the end times have come for us all or thank god we are finally rid of Arizona. In 2008, an economist called Vermont's Francophile economy "stagnant," and predicted it would continue to be that way for the next 30 years. But if you keep boostering for it when no one asked you to, everyone else is going to be mean to it. If Liotta'd been smart, he would've turned around and headed right back into his ghost corn. It's also contracted a bad case of real-estate foreclosures and continues to battle those chronic voting irregularities. The Good: Well, let's see here. The Hoosier State is known for... uh... well, for Hoosiers, which is a movie about people who peaked in high school. Remember: They named the dog Indiana. No wonder so many Ohio cities are suffering from negative population growth. Ad Choices. Idaho furnishes a fourth of America's potatoes and most of our "barrel cheese." South Dakotans like their mountains with giant faces blasted into the sides and their faces with giant meth-holes blasted into the sides. DO YOU LIKE APPLES? The Bad: Everything that's not national parks and quaint little ski/film towns? And as if that's not bad enough — Canton, Akron, Toledo, and Youngstown are all in the top 20. Mississippi is widely believed by many not to be a state at all, but an especially despondent Faulknerian run-on sentence that everyone quit trying to comprehend a long time ago. Alabama's batshit immigration law was inspired by Arizona's own SB 1070, a racist and xenophobic piece of legislation representative of Arizona's roiling immigration crisis that was signed into law by the state's governor Jan Brewer, a perky-eyed psychopath who speaks in tongues. That's all. The sheriff of the area is an insane lunatic cowboy wannabe who rules the town like Gene Hackman in the The Quick and the Dead. Of course, that's what we expect from a state full of matrimonially-challenged, gambling-addicted legal prostitutes. Then in the late summer and early fall, weed pollen can make you miserable, while mold hides out in damp places like fallen leaves and soil. The Beehive State is an alien landscape full of wonders and weirdos. comes to mind. "O-o-o-o-klahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain!" Not that an individual Mormon is a bad person! Forty-two percent! Today's Missouri Compromise is slightly different: If you can't decide between drinking and boating, then Missouri's the place for you—it's replete with alcohol-related recreational boat accidents, thanks largely to the Lake of the Ozarks and the enduring popularity of Busch. (It holds the record for the lowest recorded temperature in the U.S., -80 degrees F—just three degrees above the temperature of nasty Katie Couric's heart.) The Good: Parts of it are nice to look at. Why is Phoenix? Besides being home to the world's worst beer (Coors) and the world's most aggro evangelicals (James Dobson's Focus on the Family), the Centennial State is also a great place to be struck by lightning and catch West Nile virus, both of which happen here with alarming frequency. And thanks to one brave man, the state also supplies the lion's share of our nation's gross sexual hypocrisy: Its staunchly anti-gay senator, Larry Craig, was caught in an airport bathroom soliciting gay sex (allegedly). New Jersey is a fine state with much to offer! Last place in child health. Absolutely. And then bleeding to death on the highway. And where there are more women in prison (per capita) than in any other state! Gardens Alive, a garden and lawn supply company, conducted a study analyzing Google Trends for the top-searched pests and diseases that prevent our gardens from looking their best.They then compared the data to location, working to determine if one’s state was an indicator of a garden’s biggest pests. Also, Maine's #1 cuisine is basically a giant oceanic cockroach. But just like in the game, the best thing you can do is stock up on ammunition...and use it on yourself. On the other hand, there's this bitchin' rest stop, just outside of Delaware. During the housing bubble, a lot of folks put their money on a midnight train to Georgia, apparently ignoring that key "one-way ticket" lyric. The native population had it right when they made "aloha" mean "hello" and "goodbye": They were keeping their options open. If tragedy and struggle breeds creativity, there's no greater proof of that than Mississippi, which has, ove… It's also the preferred destination for vacationing Japanese fighter planes, tsunamis and secret Kenyan infant-operatives. (Two of these are courtesy of Phillies Nation, widely considered one of the country's most barbaric fan cultures.)

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